Looking at the Sun

Today I’m sitting on my back deck, drinking coffee soaking in the all-too-scarce winter sunshine. Tomorrow I will be in Haiti sweating in the stifling 90 degree scorching sun. Same sun, different experience.

So many things are now but also not yet. I am now a child of God and everything that belongs to my Father also belongs to me, but I am not yet walking in that fullness. I was reading about Martha’s conversation with Jesus when she says to him, “but Lord if you had been here… ” she was angry. if he had come earlier her brother would not have died. But Jesus had waited. On purpose. And I was gripped with – something too deep to name – and I thought of my sister. And I thought come ON Lord, show up… And then I remembered we are sons and daughters of God just like he is a son of God. He walked the earth to show us how to walk the earth – an example of us, not for us (so Francois Du Toit says) so everything he did as he walked on the dirt, we are to be doing (and more) so – that means that I don’t beg and wait for Jesus to show up, but I do what children of God do… I do what Jesus did and speak Life over my sister. And everything in me goes still and silent. 

When Jesus told them to move the stone, Martha warned him that it had been four days since her brother died and there would be a stench. I agree with kris vallotton when he says she wasn’t really worried about the smell, she was terrified of being disappointed. “…she feared the disappointment of broken prophecy and a lifeless brother. The rest is His-story.” (Excerpt From: Vallotton, Kris. “Fashioned to Reign.”) Terrified. Too terrified in fact to hope or to speak and that’s where the stone cold silence in me comes from. 

For four and a half years I have been arguing with myself – “sallie, people die of cancer every day.” And then, “but we walk in kingdom authority NOW” – and I’m watching my sister lose this physical fight, but win impossible battles in her heart. 

Then “Jesus answers, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

And He has been speaking over and over to me about our actions coming out of what it really is we believe. What do you really believe, Sallie? That what I have said belongs to you really belongs to you? And I think yes, but can I receive someone else’s promise for them? Jesus did. He did it all the time. 

Jesus knew something about the fabric of the universe that caused him to walk in power, understanding and faith, and that wasn’t just because he is the one who created that fabric. He knew who His Father was, understood what that meant and trusted Him. We share that family blood line, we are sons and daughters of that same Father but are we experiencing the power and love and faith and grace that Jesus did? No? Then there’s more. And it’s His heart for us to walk in those shoes Jesus left for us, to experience the same walk, to soak in the same sun as He did. 

I may be soaking in the winter sun today, but I know that in the morning I will be basking in the fullness of the heat of the sun. Bring it on Lord. 

I believe. 

Now listen to this…

Looking at the Sun

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